Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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