Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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