You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
