So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
