He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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