Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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