Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
