How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im holly from the hills drunk
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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