im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
