Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
