I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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