now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
