I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
