Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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