Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
