Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
