that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
