is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
