Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
