New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
