on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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