Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
