Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
