Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
