He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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