I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
