Having a random hookup so left but love u
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
