Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
