CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
