i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
