I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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