it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
