just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
this hospital has no fireball
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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