I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
