There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
