he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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