Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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