Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
