well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
