Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
