If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
