the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
