God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
