So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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