look no pants
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
