Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
