Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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