oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
