I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
