You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
