Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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