These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
