You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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