you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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