I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Come share oat with me in your robe
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
