I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
